Do you realize I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), after which use the flash films/games because the icing about the teenage-annoyance cake. And once the editor pushed here is their diepio game if you ask me, I was suspicious.
In the beginning, I assumed to inquire about: “How do you realize I utilized to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not merely, should i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to monitor down younger me but, generally if i was right, he will know I had been to the bastard. Then your editor would foil my life plans by occasionally whispering in my ear: “hey, remember this gem of any Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem We have left.
Like the majority of narratives, I used to be asked who’s tale it absolutely was. So, one splash of water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but instead just asking me my name. Although, noticing it was an internet based multiplayer title, I was thinking I’d hide how I’d be examining this game using a critical eye as an element of my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, similar to most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the foot of a pile, in the bad world seeking to shoot you in the back of the top. Or even a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. And So I did the most obvious thing: I blew from the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging each of the circle with names about them. Yes, the aesthetic may be recreated with MS Paint and the one thing that is missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the choice of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. A thing that became immediately obvious was that in case I planned to have longer than a child in a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i then would be required to pick regen sooner or later. Without them, I would personally be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled beyond the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked should i wanted a device-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or in order to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly like a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the kind of simpleton to try out as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, from fear of confusion otherwise, I went with all the assault rifle option on my tank.
Eventually, like most things, my time with Diep.io stumbled on a stop after i began picking fights with other players. In spite of the very best damage output I could possibly muster, probably the most speed, a big regen pool, plus more health than I knew how to handle, other players were quickly capable of put me inside my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside with the almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.